So You Say You Want the Priesthood

The only time I really cared about women not having the priesthood in the church was during college, when I was in an academic cocoon and looking for a reason to be pissed off at the church so I could justify not wanting to go anymore.  Well, it certainly worked.  I learned quickly in the University system that to question is good, to analyze is important, but to be angry about a perceived injustice, then make a name for yourself fighting said injustice tops all.

My Feminist Theology class taught by Sister Elizabeth Johnson, an unrepentant advocate for the women's ordination movement in the Catholic church, author of She Who Is ( "God is whomever she wants to be"), outspoken critic of the patriarchal Catholic system, and true believer that woman has been relegated to 2nd class citizenship in the church, provided me all the fuel I needed to stoke my fire of indignation toward the LDS church.

Except there was a problem.  Almost everything she brought up was exclusive to other churches, but didn't occur in mine.  Nearly every example of how downtrodden women are I could counter with an example of how the true gospel of Jesus Christ lifts up.  When Sister  bemoaned that women were not taken care of emotionally and physically, and that they needed an organization "...by women, for women, where women go out and visit each other, and make sure that their needs are met...", I told her that in the LDS church that organization had already existed for over 100 years.  I began to see that but for the ordination of women, faithful LDS women are afforded every opportunity for service and growth that men are.

There was little left to fan the flames of my ire.  By the time I finished the semester I felt so sad for Sister Elizabeth, because there were key elements she was missing.  Far from alienating myself from my faith, the class served to help me resolve the issues I was having, and to realize how much deeper was my understanding of God's relationship to gender than a highly educated, published and dynamic woman.  That said, I left with a high regard and profound respect for Sister Elizabeth, and credit her with provoking me to action in my spiritual journey.

With my limited understanding of scripture and spirituality, I relied on faith.  I let go of my anger.  I let go of bitterness, resentment, indignation and even the internal desire to fight for something! But what about polygamy?!? What about blacks and the priesthood?!?  What about women and the priesthood?!?  What about abused women?!?!  I just let. it. go.  And when I let that happen, I became a different person.  I became someone suddenly consumed with the desire to help other people.  I wanted to teach, I wanted to lift up,  I wanted to help women and children, I wanted to serve.  So I did.

Still relying on faith over this question of women and the priesthood, I embarked on an LDS mission.  And that is where this story takes a massive turn, for it was during that time that I began to understand what holding the priesthood means for men: WORK!!!!  Those poor Elders were constantly at our beck and call:  "Can you come give so-and-so a blessing?"  "I need you to do this interview", " Can you give me a blessing?"  "We need help with this family" "Can you help us move sister what's her name's stuff?"  etc. etc etc.

Do I think that most Sisters could have taken care of some of those requests?  Probably.  Were most of us more educated, older, more mature and even wiser?  Almost to a person.  But how nice to have a non-emotional 19-21 year old kid be there when two sisters were irrational, crying and upset at each other.  How nice to not have to get up in the middle of the night and travel through dangerous, dark 3rd world streets to go give a blessing to someone who called with an emergency.  In short, how nice to be taken care of!  And how nice for an immature kid from small town USA to be given massive responsibility that had the potential to shape and direct him in a way that would affect his entire life!

My eyes began to be opened to the reality of the priesthood.  So much so, that when I wrote out a list of qualities I wanted in a husband during an activity, I wrote down one item:  1)  I want a temple worthy man who honors his priesthood.  Because I knew that a man who honors his priesthood, honors God and honors all women.

15 years into our marriage, that man now serves as the bishop of our ward, and nothing else has convinced me more that the last thing I EVER want on earth is the priesthood.  As far as I can see, being in a position of priesthood leadership means that everyone thinks you can solve their problems.  Got a question?  Call a priesthood leader.  Need a blessing?  Call your priesthood leader. Need to move your entire house and you haven't started packing yet?  Call your priesthood leader?   Got a problem with your house/car/job/spouse/schooling/teenager/toddler/adolescent/calling/friend/dog/worthiness/addiction/roommate/ex, etc.?  Call your priesthood leader!  It's work, my friends!

Being a priesthood leader in the church means spending sometimes 4 or 5 nights a week going to meetings, visiting and counseling people.  Then getting up when it's still dark on Sunday mornings for meetings, staying after church for 2-4 hours meeting with more people, doing paperwork and other administrative tasks, then coming home for a quick bite before you head back out to another baptism, meeting or counseling session.   Not to mention the hours of texts, emails and phone calls each week.  It means having the constant burden of other people's problems on your shoulders.  It's a God-given responsibility and who am I to tell God who should have it?

May the women who feel so passionately about this issue instead focus their efforts on the women who surround them who have immediate needs.  Watch someone's kids so she can go get to the gynecologist.   Take someone out to lunch who feels alone and friend-less.  Let a single mom know that they can rely on you by bringing her dinner or offering to have her kids come over so she can take a jog., or just LISTEN to her.  You want a taste of the priesthood?  Go do deep yard work for an elderly couple, or spend an entire Saturday moving heavy furniture for someone.  Or better yet, take the phone call from the couple whose marriage is imploding and go counsel them for 4 hours when you'd really rather be at your daughter's birthday dinner.  Or go pick up the pieces when a family falls apart and hold the wife who is so low that all she can do is look at you and beg to know why God has done this to her.   Be with the families when their child or spouse dies.  Speak at the funerals, be at every baptism, mediate the pettiness in the ward.  Expect no glamour, expect no adulation, expect no praise.  Because this is the priesthood in action on this Earth, and except for a small number of men, this is the reality of a righteous LDS man just trying to do his best.

 If the women of OWN (Ordain Women Now) have the time to protest and picket, I daresay they are neglecting the needs all around them and as such, would make lousy priesthood holders anyway.